It was good to hear from you this evening. I can confirm that I have had no emails or phone call other than yours from Jersey today.
I am truly sorry that your dream of finding a family where you could be the child has been smashed, I do know how much that meant to you. **** knows that I believe him to have been at the very least naïve and misguided, and I find his preoccupation with enquiring into sexual matters with you very disturbing. It is always difficult to discern true motive in what people do, but naïve evangelicals sometimes think that praying about it will make everything OK. I have no doubt that you did not let things go too far, and I am glad that you are away from there now.
**** promised more than he could deliver, it would have been kinder to say that you could be like a daughter, rather than be a daughter, but you can’t turn the clock back and you would always be a grown up daughter. The reason you cannot go back to childhood is because you are, and very much want to be, your own person. A young child in any family should receive a lot of love, but it should also be under the control and guidance of the parents who bear responsibility for it as it grows up. I think that would rightly be too high a price for you to pay, that is one reason why your dream could never come true.
Just for the record, I am well aware that you have never had a problem with (list of names redacted) (and that is just the ones I know) so be gentle with yourself.
It is Peace & Healing tomorrow evening and (names redacted) will lay hands on me and you will be with me at that time.
Lots of love,
Revd ***** *******