It is still hard to blog about Jersey, sometimes I feel as if I would be blogging to defend myself against the smear campaign rather than tell my story, and sometimes my memory is absent because the trauma is too much.
Sometimes random memories come to me and I wonder if I should blog them.
I went hungry a lot in Jersey, when I couldn’t earn enough to live on, and I remember when I started to be a bit better off when my salary started, I remember getting a hot roast sandwich from the cafe in First Tower, which became a favourite place of mine. I was so hungry I choked as I tried to eat that sandwich because I ate so fast.
I remember giving £20 of that same first wage packet to one of the charity managers of one of the charities I worked for, I was worried though, because she belonged to the church and she knew where I worked, and that put me at risk as far as I was concerned.
I remember one of the numerous awful lodgings I stayed in during that few years of hell, no-one else was home when I got back from work that bank holiday, apart from one blind drunk lodger, he was not only blind drunk but was stark naked too, and not only stark naked but determined to be a pest, as in, he came up to me, propositioned me, in the nude, and followed me back to my room and pounded on the door and stayed outside the door swearing and threatening me.
The problem was, the police had brutalized me and locked me up the day they let the churchwarden go to go round saying he was cleared, so I saw no point in the police in this case.
Anyway, eventually he went away, and he muttered apologies later when he was more sober, but I was so alarmed that I let the landlady (who was not a nice person) know, and she kicked him out the same day, he wasn’t even allowed time to find new lodgings, which is a very Jersey thing, they treat non-quals tenants like animals, and tried to do the same to me, but an organization that knew the law didn’t let them.
There is more to that story but I am far from ready to share it. It it is among the countless traumas in this whole story, so much more than the church of england know, not that they have asked for my full story or showed any sign of wanting it yet.