4am Nightmares

I woke at 3.30am with nightmares.
I woke up hot and distressed, dreaming about the police and that they came after me.
The problem is, I do have dreams that come true, the church probably did and will make that out to be madness, but I do.
The other problem is, I cannot always tell which dreams will come true and which wont, which are just general fear and flashback and bad memory dreams and which are potentially going to come true.
I have looked for but failed to find, the email about the dream where I prophesied the old Bishop having a stroke. I remember sending it, in the middle of the crazy last months in Jersey.
Because of the cult churches in Jersey I despise the word ‘prophetic’ because I heard it sickeningly misused over and over and over. They loved to abuse words like that and other words ‘infilling’ is another, ‘the infilling’ of the Holy Spirit, so many times it made me sick, and yet there was no Holy Spirit there in that darkness of the cult churches, just horrible games that were harmful to vulnerable people.
Funny how the cult church gang never got accused of insanity by the diocese, even though some of what they did bordered on insanity.

But anyway, those who print and save the blog, please do, just in case the diocese have lined up a healthy beating and locking up to lose me my home and the rebuild of my life, and most importantly to them, my computer and all the evidence.

I still cannot talk about the horrors of the police properly, all I can tell you is that in Jersey, long before I was brutalised and locked up in October 2010 , my records and the police view of things was damagingly inaccurate. That I had known other people who had experienced police injustice and brutality, including a police beating of an innocent man that led to his suicide, and that I had no proper understanding of the police procedures but knew that it was horribly unjust that they had sent the results of the churchwarden case to me by email and had in the same email advocated for my abuser, telling me to ‘leave the poor man alone’, while the ‘poor man’ was slandering me freely to his church and other influential friends in that small island and leaving me isolated and shunned, which the Korris report omits while Korris smarms the police by claiming they sent me a nice letter etc, which it remains a fact they did not, I received no letter from the police who sent me the results by email, advocated for the slandering abuser and had me captured, brutalized and detained the same day as the email.

That, peeps, is the very tip of the iceberg, because even though I need to tell you the rest, because I have been so badly slandered and left voiceless, I am too distressed and traumatized to tell you everything, and my brain keeps shutting off everything that has happened.

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