- Throughout my early 20s, the doctors gave me a variety of anti-depressants which invariably left me ill and didn’t help me, the doctors didn’t tend to actively moniter me on these drugs and it was a question of either making appointments and feeling stupid and a nuisance or not going back, I was never given repeat prescriptions, and to this day I puzzle as to what a repeat prescription actually is, as I simply have always had to go back to the surgery and beg for more prescriptions each time I run out and I always felt stupid about it, a waste of time. Alternately I would just let the awful andti-depressants run out, and then my work and friendships would suffer a bit less.
- I never got much help or support from the doctors in the town where I went after the sheltered house. It was a youth worker and church people who saw me struggling and almost simultaneously discussed Asperger Syndrome and Autism with me, and lobbied the Doctor to refer me for assessment. At the time, however, there was no facility in Hampshire for assessment and so there was a very long wait as I continued to struggle with life.
- The surgery I registered with next, had good and bad to it, they had some male doctors who were famous for being rude to patients because they were ‘old school’ and thought everyone just whinged. I was vaguely monitered for depression but was very tired a lot, like I am now. I was offered a chance by the surgery to do a self-help course, I agreed, because I was keen for help. Sadly it was a kind of re-hash of things out of my self help books, and it was all women, talking about their ‘partners’ and babies, it was very boring, and I didn’t learn anything, so when they offered me a follow-up course I said no.
- The strain of struggling with life and anti-depressants became worse and worse as I approached mid-20s, and still no-one had realised I responded badly to anti-depressants, not even me. And so I was struggling and I was being blamed for struggling, my friends were mainly older, well-off church people, and their families didn’t struggle and so they didn’t see why I should be doing, I remember one of them pretty much telling me so. It is amazing how much I was not understood even by my friends sometimes, they were all very secure and had no idea of the kind of background I was from.
- I referred myself both to the Youth centre for help with various things I needed communication assistance with, and MIND, where I referred as isolated and suffeirng depression so that I could join their social club and outings. I will do another post on MIND outings, as it is another happy memory post.
TBC in further posts.