This was written for the Dean in 2008, when he was disbelieving of me and the man at Autism Jersey thought it would be a good idea for me to introduce myself properly, it was titled ‘who am I to make a complaint’ I have removed the photographs that went with the original document


This letter below reads like me defending myself on trial, and basically it is, the Dean saw me and rubbished my complaint and was obstructive, at the time I still had a full life, with friends and activities, although the stress was starting to cause me and my life to collapse.
Later, in the years after this was written, it ceased to be true, because I was maligned to all churches and to my friends, and JM and Jane Fisher liased to malign me to my old benefice so that my church friends were all gone. 
I was left with nothing, and nothing was done about the Churchwarden of JM’s husband, who remained protected and supported by the church, again, I see this as branding me worse than a sex offender. 
I have removed the photographs of me sailing and with friends from this letter, for obvious reasons.
Who am I to make a complaint?
I am a 27 year old girl with asbergers syndrome which is mild autism and a few other problems, when I am not being driven mad I can come across as normal/mildly eccentric.
My background was a bit unsettled because of problems my family faced and the fact that we had to move a lot, I left home at 17 and went to college, I achieved a number of qualifications despite my problems, and have had a career working in gardens and on farms, I came to the church through my friend (JM) when I was 17/18.
I don’t tell people about myself, I am a private soul.
I am a quiet person, I am afraid of people that I don’t know, this may be because of autism, my background or the fact that people ask questions and I grew up not being able to answer questions, and still struggle to explain my background and circumstances anyway. I have been diagnosed with social phobia as a result. But despite this I still go out and join in things, and if people make an effort they do get through to me and I can build friendships.
I am an angry person, I get things wrong, I try to be nice, I try to be moral, I don’t always get that right but I don’t smoke, drink alcohol, sleep with people or do drugs and I don’t think people are there to be used.
Because I am Asbergery I get into habits that I cant break easily, which is why was hard for me to break the cycle of going to St. A’s church.
I don’t like change, I don’t like some sounds and lights, I am not very keen on physical contact, some forms of physical touch send me haywire, but on the other hand, with good friends, there is nothing I love more than a good cuddle.
I like wildlife, I am absolutely fascinated by toads, ducks  and hedgehogs, I don’t know how they work without motors, but they are good to talk to.
I enjoy a variety of activities, photography, cycling, playing badminton, learning to surf and boogie boarding, I enjoy writing and drawing little pictures, I have a sense of humour, I really enjoy time with my church friends, for example going for meals,doing the bible society walk or helping out at Jersey Keswick, but my deepest love of all is sailing and the sea, secretly I love dinghy sailing slightly more than big boats, but I find bigger boat sailing easier, and dinghy sailing reminds me of (the churchwarden), I have various sailing qualifications and sailing is one thing that keeps me physically alive, though due to the recent events, I don’t have much energy for sailing. On the Sark to Jersey rowing race I was proud to crew on a guard boat, I enjoy occasional cruises to france or the other islands with my budget sailing club, and I have had the privilege of sailing on a tall ship.
Church and socially:
I am or was a believer, I struggled with Christianity because of my background and because I didn’t feel that I could call myself a Christian due to my fear and mistrust of people. But I have always been a believer and praying and helping others has always meant a lot to me.
Having been badly battered by St. Andrews, my faith remains low, but I belong to two wonderful churches,  and I also occasionally go to the Town Church, and (five other churches), joint services at St. *****, I have also been to the ********* Church where some of my friends go. There is only one church on this island that I have found difficult, the rest are incredibly good.
This was written before the villification of me in the churches really kicked in
I enjoy helping out with things, at St.A’s my offers to help were soundly rejected.
Disabled people are less there, you don’t offer to help unless you want to be jeered. I remember the churchwarden jeering the other diabled woman for her efforts to move tables and chairs.
 
But despite being a ‘problem’ according to St. A’s, I have in the past at previous churches done sidesmans duties and welcoming, bellringing, youth and childrens group helping, reading lessons and prayers, general help with setting up and running services and events, taking part in or narrating dramas during services (Jersey churches don’t seem to do dramas), running the projector, taking part in mission support work, doing sponsored events, doing coffee after the service, etc, so I wasn’t up to St. A’s standard, but other churches have tolerated me, and I am pleased that despite being ill, I have been able to help with things for (two churches, before I was maligned to them), such as stewarding and setting out chairs at Jersey Keswick, helping with the ********** Romania project, helping with ********** work, moving chairs and tables, thats all so far, but they include me and I can be helpful.
Friends: How I get friends I don’t know, I am too fearful of people, but here are some of the friends and nice people in my life:

In Jersey, I am getting to know people, the churches are full of lovely people who I am growing attached to and who offer support love and prayers, especially now, I belong to a housegroup where I like and get on well with everyone, I belong to a lovely badminton team, I also belong to a sailing club where I get on well with everyone and have made  friends, I keep in touch with people I worked with when I came over here and I also remain on friendly terms with my ex-landlord. So the churchwarden couple are in a minority.
I did get on well with the ex-landlord until his friends in St. A’s etc maligned me to him.
Here is a picture of some friends, (pictire removed) (names removed), who  live in Winchester and have been my friends for 10 years, I went to live with them aged 17, I spent two years with them, we had surprisingly minor problems considering how confused I was back then, and they remain dear to me. This picture is taken at the Wayside Cafe at St. Brelades Bay where we were having lunch. Their niece, , lives in St. Brelades and is an officer at the ***************church, where I know several people.
I think this may answer a few questions as to my motivations and do I treat everyone like I apparently treatedthe churchwarden couple,
******

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