If anyone wonders why I went mad, this is why. The incidents described in this letter below this paragraph. To me, being regressed and abused and thrown away, being told the police results in an email and being immediately brutalized and locked up – very deliberately omitted from the Korris report, which goes on about the police sending me a ‘nice letter’ which I never got, this, regressed to childhood, left back in my original childhood and some of the blank horror of what I went through then, and left abused and abandoned by EY and his wife who had always belittled me. Brutalized by police and shunned in the community, Philip LeClaire publicizing the brutality after playing a part in having me captured by police and trying to make out he was not part of that.
Bob Hill wonders why I don’t trust, why I don’t like people going behind my back.
I suffered severe Post Traumatic Stress as a result of the detention and brutalization the day the police let my abuse go, they used force, just as they always have because of my terror, and they locked me in a cell and were rude and insulting to me, for the crime of reporting an abuser.
I didn’t recover, and this is when I stopped coping, stopped coping with Jane Fisher’s nonsense, stopped coping with my abuser laughing when he saw me while he remained in church positions, stopped coping with Philip, with being shunned for reporting the man I reported, stopped coping with what was a horrible and hopeless situation, from which I didn’t and can’t recover.
** **** ******* ****
Police Complaints Department
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am not at all sure if I should be writing to the police complaints department with my queries, but the DC who dealt with a complaint that I made seems unable to deal with my queries and concerns and seems more concerned with protecting my abuser. I am unwilling to contact the police again as I am afraid of them because of their treatment of me.
I am autistic, and am much more able to write than speak, I am making these queries entirely on my own.
I made a complaint to the police last year, with a bit of prompting, the complaint was about a man called Mr.******, Mr.****** is a churchwarden at St. A’s church at **** ******, Mr.****** decided to ‘adopt’ me as his daughter very shortly after meeting me, I believed that Mr.****** was trustworthy as he professed to be a Christian, but Mr ***** subjected me to unwelcome sexual advances and emotional torture, he was very careful in doing so, and made sure that I felt ‘to blame’ for my reactions to his treatment, and for a long time I took the blame.
Mr ****** told me that ‘God had told him to take me as a daughter’ and because of my faith I believed that my prayers for somewhere to belong were answered, I tried to cope with the increasing distress Mr.****** was causing me, and eventually had to tell his wife, who had never wanted a disabled ‘adoptive daughter’, I was brought into their family by her husband, for his own reasons, so I was thrown out of the family, with Mr.****** denying doing anything wrong, his wife despised me from the start, and when he heard I was making a complaint, he had the arrogance to phone an older friend of mine in order to try to get her to ‘shut me up’, she is not a good person to deal with abuse, despite being a priest, but she told him he had done wrong when he explained to her that he was trying to ‘help me’ by ‘breaking through my sexual barriers in order to cure my sexual problems’, I do not have significant sexual problems, my main problems are autism and trauma.
The matter was brought to the police, someone went with me to the police, there was a very helpful DC who’s name I cannot recall, he had shirt sleeves and a big grin, he seemed very prepared to deal with the matter. But then the matter was passed on to DC Hare, who I do not understand, and I do not understand the way he dealt with the matter or explained/didn’t explain it.
DC Hare interviewed Mr.******, he then contacted me by email with the results of the complaint, which didn’t make sense and still doesn’t. It seems to read that they ‘let poor Mr ****** off because there wasn’t enough evidence, and poor mr ****** had been under so much pressure due to the complaint that he wouldn’t do it again’. Mr ****** could not give a damn about what he has done, he has called me a liar since and has gone on with his life, he was sacked from his previous church for misconduct but he happily told me that they were mistaken, he refuses to take responsibility for his actions, and while he was abusing me he told me about how he talked sex to girls on his evangelising walk, he has not taken any responsibility for what he has done.
DC Hare told me that Mr.****** ‘admitted to most of the things I said? But said he was doing it to help me), therefore they could not prosecute Mr.******. I do not understand this, is it legal in Jersey to force sexual contact in order to help someone? I did not understand the results , originally sent by email. I think what Mr ****** has done is wrong, but he appears to Have gained DC Hare’s sympathy. DC Hare said it was ‘on Mr.******’s record’, but I also did not understand what that meant. DC Hare was also aware that I have difficulty using a telephone, he said in his email that I could ‘phone him if I had any queries’.
If Mr ****** admitted to anything sexual, and DC Hare never explained what Mr ****** did or didn’t admit to, then why can no further action be taken? DC Hare is obviously not willing to take further action even though I have asked. DC Hare has ignored my requests for further action or explanation, and I am afraid of DC Hare because he got me locked up.
When I received the unhelpful results of my complaint by email from DC Hare, I apparently threatened suicide, I am somewhat confused about this, but to cut a long story short I was seized by the police and locked up, I am told that this was for my own welfare, but I can see no evidence of that, DC Hare omitted to tell the police that I was autistic, dislike having my arms touched and need an appropriate adult at the police station.
Though I was very tired and ill and unable to run, and not trying to run, and was also trapped between two police officers and two cars, I was taken hold of by the upper arms, it was specifically mentioned in my statements to the police about Mr.****** that I have an extreme dislike of my upper arms being touched, because Mr ****** forced ‘therapy’ on me including constant touch of my upper arms, DC Hare, who apparently sent these officers out of ‘duty of care’ hadn’t bothered to tell the officers that he sent that I was autistic, disliked touch, and needed an appropriate adult, the officer, PC O’Brian, refused to let go of my arms even though I couldn’t run anywhere, I was panicking, I cannot begin to describe the severity of this panic to you, O’Brian said if he let go of my arm he would have to handcuff me (for the crime of reporting my abuser?), I said ‘handcuff me, let go of my arm’, he refused to do so, and I continued to panic with this nasty police officer gripping my arm when I had not commited a crime. It was only when my landlord stepped in and persuaded the officer to let go of me that he did, they then took me to the police station, they prepared to search me but I wouldn’t let them, I was absolutely out of my mind with terror. I told them not to lock me up because I suffer with claustrophobia? It means terror of enclosed spaces, they locked me up and I had a severe and prolonged panic attack, then they sent me to see a doctor who I didn’t understand and then they sent me home, no appropriate adult was present even though DC Hare was aware of my disability, and I was confused and distressed, I was shaking in severe shock and very much awake in the early hours of the next morning and the trauma of this on top of being abused by people who should have been safe, having to make a complaint, and feeling that DC Hare sympathises with Mr and MRs ******, who made my life living hell, has left me severely distressed, being ‘locked up for the crime of reporting my abusers’ did nothing for my welfare.
I still have nightmares of being on that police station floor struggling to breathe.
There was no follow up on that nasty incident. I have been left to ‘commit suicide as I please’ and I believe that if I had not been exhausted after that police incident I would have taken my own life because of how I was treated, it is incredibly cruel and twisted that the DC got me locked up and punished, while my abuser is walking around calling me a liar and has laughed the whole matter off, and he really has called me a liar.
And now my abuser is aware of me being locked up due to Phillip LeClaire publishing it in an article, it no doubt gave the ******s a good laugh to hear how I was locked up for their crime.
DC Hare offered to meet with me to ‘discuss the matter’, I was persuaded by Phillip LeClaire to attend a meeting, at short notice, though I said I was ill and couldn’t cope, I attended the meeting, but the primary aim of the meeting seemed to for DC Hare to act as a mouthpiece for the ******s to ‘shut me up’ , as I had not understood DC Hare’s email of the results of the complaint, I thought Mr ****** had simply walked away laughing, and as Mr.****** was calling me a liar, that seemed to be the case, so I had continued to tell Mr.****** off myself, he has never apologised or taken any responsibility, DC Hare ‘warned me’ that ‘people would think I was bad’ if I continued to deal with ****** myself, I felt intimidated and was afraid of being arrested again, so I was all agreement, ‘oh yes, I will behave myself, don’t lock me up for my abuser’s crimes again’. Mr ****** had phoned DC Hare, who should have dealt with Mr.******, and ‘told him I was verbally attacking him in the street.’ Mr ******’s arrogance in doing that, phoning the officer who was supposed to deal with him abusing me, and DC Hare actually trying to shut me up on ******’s behalf seems incredibly wrong.
Why was Mr ****** allowed to ask the DC who should have taken action against him to shut me up? I want something done about Mr.******, I am certain from things that he and his wife said, that he has abused before, and will again, he is very clever, hence me being punished for his crimes, and will get round the tiny mark on his CRB check, which has in big letters next to it ‘his victim is trouble’.
I will shut up when something has been done about my abuser. I don’t think it’s fair if it has been recorded on my CRB check instead.
DC Hare said that what ****** did was bad but not criminal (so I am being told that sexual assault is not criminal on a disabled person?), and I am the one in danger of a criminal record, why? I am being told that Mr.****** adopting me to Abuse me, damaging me and letting me bear his wife’s fury, and throwing me away when I spoke up is my fault and the police couldn’t care less.
I was also not happy with Mr. LeClaire discussing things about me with DC Hare without my permission, but that is Mr. LeClaire’s fault. He works for Autism Jersey and wants to be on good terms with the police, hence his backing DC Hare and reference to the police being marvellous in his article where he talked about me in the paper against my wishes, that article was also without my permission and against my will, but that is Mr. LeClaire’s fault, I am in support of Mr. LeClaire’s marvellous advocacy of autistic people, but confused about some things he does.
DC Hare hasn’t clarified some things and I was too intimidated by the meeting, what did ****** admit to? If he admitted to sexual things, why are they not criminal? If he didn’t, he still did all those things, why does DC Hare believe ****** over me and stand up for him? If ****** admitted to doing some of those things to help me, why is that believed? I feel that Mr.****** set up a situation where he could get gratification from me. Mr ****** continues in his role as church officer and works with young mothers and Yacht club cadets, he has taken no responsibility for what he has done to me, he and his wife have left me devastated. Mr ******’s excuse of doing things to ‘help me’ is made very believable by his demeanour, but it could not possibly be true, I know from living with him as his daughter that he is very sexual and has a huge problem with boundaries.
I don’t expect you to understand this, but my faith in God was central to my life, it has been destroyed by the ******s, I wanted to belong to a family, Mr ****** called me his ‘daughter’ and then I was thrown away when I started to speak up and Mr ****** denied everything, these things have hurt me more than anyone can imagine, my background was from poverty and abuse, violence and neglect, but I lived on faith and hope, that has been taken from me by these things and I have been left devastated by these things.
I don’t understand the results of my complaint, I feel that I have been called a liar, I have been traumatised and devastated, my abuser has walked away calling me a liar, the police are on his side and I expect to be arrested again and treated brutally for standing up for myself.
DC Hare did explain at the meeting that it is on Mr.******’s CRB check in the ‘greyline’ because what Mr.****** did was ‘bad but not criminal’I don’t understand what this means, does this mean it’s ok for Mr.****** to abuse because he has friends in the police? I am also concerned what this has done to my CRB check because the police are hostile to me, why is my abuser walking around laughing and calling me a liar? Lying about something like that would be horrific for me, being called a liar of something like this is horrific, I am the one suffering massively for this, for the crime of reporting my abuser, I am the one who was locked up and had my arms and brain hurt, why am I the one in massive trouble and why was I arrested for my abusers crimes?
My continued concern and request for further action has been totally ignored by DC Hare, and since I couldn’t understand his explanation of all this, I asked him for someone who could, and the address of the police complaints department, that was also ignored.
I also remain confused about being told firstly there was not enough evidence to prosecute Mr.******, then being told that he had admitted to a lot of things but because he ‘did them to help me’ it was bad not criminal’, I was not told what he admitted to, but probably not the more serious sexual things, but if he admitted to anything, why is he walking around laughing and calling me a liar while I am still suffering? I really want something done.
I have done my best to protect other vulnerable people, I do not expect to be arrested for it, but I wouldn’t be surprised.`
I am not Jersey born, I know about Haute de LA Garenne, is this just normal Jersey justice? Should I pipe down and wait for the police to think of another excuse to thrash me for being autistic yet speaking up about being mistreated? Am I going to be named and shamed in the paper?
Can you help me with my concerns please?